Hello, today, I will talk about the worst criminal in the world, Joseph Kony. Should he be famous or not? Before I start my journal, I will ask you some questions. Do you know Kony? I think most of you, don't know. Kony is the worst criminal in the world, who must be captured. Nowadays, he is in issue. there are some people who say that we should make him famous and catch him. However, there are some people who argue that we should catch him secretly. What is your opinion? My opinion is that we should first make him famous and catch him. Now, I will explain why we should make him famous.
First, do you know why he is doing something bad? It is for fun and to maintain his power. On the Earth, only 1% of people know who Kony is. If we don't make him famous, most people will simply say "It's not my business" and just ignore Kony's crime. So, to make more people concern and worry about Kony's crimes, we should make him famous.
Second, It is serious problem on the Earth. Within past 20 years, Kony kidnapped more than 30,000 kids in Uganda, raped people, turn kids into solidier and made them kill their parents. Everyone on the Earth must know these inhumane and cruel misconducts. I believe that whoever becomes aware of Kony, after mae famous, would want to punish him.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that criminals like Kony must be punished for their crimes and compensate the victims for their loss. To catch him, can only be possible if we make him famous that more people with conscince strive to let justice stand and criminals fall.
Wow your awesome
ReplyDeleteI want to get fish or something
Hi, Alex! I found your writing interesting. I want to mention a bit about the organization of your writing. Your intro is almost about twice the size of your body paragraphs, and the body paragraphs are about the size of the conclusion. Try to balance them. Add more details to your body paragraphs, thus balancing the essay as a whole and making your ideas stronger. Keep trying:)
ReplyDeleteThank you teacher:) Next time, I will post my journal as you said.
ReplyDeleteThe introduction is long enough, but I think it would be better to put 3 reasons.
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteThis is a good essay but it would be helpful to give more reasons. You should address the opposing reasons and give your rebuttal. Good luck next time!